What's the opposite of 'green fingers'?

'Black fingers'?

'Fingers of death'?

'The plague'?

Or perhaps, 'Too-damn-lazy-to-chuck-the-occassional-glass-of-water-into-the-plant-pot', will suffice?

I killed me plant. In case you hadn't picked up on that. Well, it's not quite dead, seems to be clinging onto the last cold dregs of life. See, I don't take care of the poor thing, but I do like to have a wee bit of greenery in the room. Adds life. But me room is barely big enough to swing a hamster in, hence me and the plant have occassional collisions. Today we had a full on war. The cheeky bugger attacked me on the way to the bathroom (I was on the way to the bathroom, not the plant, in case you were confused), so I retaliated, and now he's looking severely droopy. More so than usual. Poor thing.

Anyone have any quick-fix solutions for houseplants in distress? I was thinking a wee shot of that sake I've had since God was a lad might sort him out...?